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Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
1:44 pm - this time, with pictures!

Ok, it must be this time of year or something... you know, dry air = dry skin = slippery feet. About once every three years or so I must turn my stairs into a rough approximation of a painful thrill ride.

This time I was rushing downstairs to the basement to get a phone. Snow in shoes. Bad move ensued.
Again, a righteously huge contusion on hip and ankle, but unlike in 2007 it is on my left side. It might be hard to imagine how this could be better than the last time, but because I am more of a right side sleeper than a left it caused less sleep disruption.

(3 kisses | kiss our boo boos)

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2007
1:54 pm - The eve of NYE.

Just before bed, I decided to go downstairs to grab the book I was reading. Nothing absurd about that. However, losing one's footing at the top and sliding down about 12 stairs on one's right hip is rather absurd. kathunk-kathunk-kathunk... etc. The pain took my breath away.

The result: a thigh contusion of 6x4 glorious inches in deep purple, with matching 3x4 inch nit quite so glorious bruise just above the ankle.

Ouch. The worst part is I am just now able to resume sleeping on that side of my body, and I am a serious side sleeper.

(kiss our boo boos)

Friday, July 7th, 2006
11:45 am - Yesterday

Yesterday started off like any other day. I got up, went to the gym (arms and cardio) and went to work. I was dressed a little nicer than normal, since I was planning to go to a memorial service for a co-worker yesterday.

Around noon, I went up to Project Director's office for a meeting about one phase of information gathering for our project. Meeting went well, and we generated good ideas. I was heading down the stairs back to my office with a a colleague when the heel of my left shoe got caught in my pants and down I went. Spectacularly. I lost my balance, fell down about 6 steps, pitched forward and banged my head on the cinderblock wall, ricocheting off and hitting the floor. Chaos ensued, as the collegue got help, in the form of the project director, who called the school nurse, and some of the people who I share office space with.

They helped me up, to the dean's office and I sat there, shaking and sore for a while. The nurse determined that I hadn't broken anything or concussed anything, and I was sent home. In fact, a coworker drove me home, since they didn't want to put me on the subway or subject me to the mercy of a taxi.

The final tally
banged up knees = 2 (one with a bruise, the other in an ace bandage and with a big scrape)
banged up wrist = 1
banged up head = right side
pants = tan linen, two holes, one from the heel of the shoe, the other from the injury itself
ego = bruised and amused.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go ice something.

It's expected I'll be mostly OK in a week or so, and fully functional in time for Japan.

But, in the mean time OW!

current mood: dorky

(kiss our boo boos)

Wednesday, March 1st, 2006
10:21 am - Oh. No.

So I did a totally unprofessional, silly girl thing this morning.

Upon seeing a small gray mouse in my garbage can, I screamed and made my boss come and take care of it.

I have since disinfected the entire area with many, many Lysol wipes and regained some of my otherwise unflappable resolve.

But still.

current mood: discontent

(1 kiss | kiss our boo boos)

Saturday, September 17th, 2005
8:48 pm

lately I have been clipping walls with my hips, shoulders, and toes a lot more than usual. I guess that can be linked to the 30 pounds or so I've gained in the past year. Luckily though, while my hips take up more space around me than before, its the meaty parts that collide with things so now my hip bones are protected and dont get rammed into doorknobs anymore. I used to hit them so hard sometimes that my knees would nearly give out and even though it was just for a second, it would shoot this sharp sickening pain down my thigh and up my neck and throat. *shudder* If I have children and pass this on, maybe somewhere down the line my descendents will have whiskers.

current mood: amused

(kiss our boo boos)

Monday, August 1st, 2005
9:49 pm

A story that happened yesterday:

In my computer room, the computer is near the doorway. There's no door, just a beaded curtain. On the other side of the doorway is a big huge stack of DVD's and also the cage for Sora, my chinchilla.

I got up from the computer to get a drink and tripped over something (a shoe I think) as soon as I stood up, so as I fell, I made a grab for the beaded curtain that's over the doorway, pulling it down from the wall, and falling and getting all tangled in it. Then as I tried to get up and disentangle myself, I lose my balance and fall backwards, knocking over the big stack of movies that's against the wall near Sora's cage. Ok, so I am now standing and have re-stacked all the DVD's and put the beaded curtain back up, with Sora chattering angrily at me the whole time for making so much noise and rattling his cage, and go to get that drink I wanted. Guess again- There's a puddle of water on the kitchen floor and I am once again down on the ground and now my back's all wet from landing in said puddle.

By the time I finally got my drink I wasn't even thirsty anymore, I just wanted to lie down.

current mood: goofy

(kiss our boo boos)

11:43 am - New


I’m new to the site and thought I would post my favorite Cluty story. It happened a while back; but these kinds of things happen to me / happen with me from time to time when I least expect it. I try to make a joke of it since I believe what doesn’t kill you should be laughed at. I hope you like.

(edited it to shorten it for Klutzy Chicks)

Attack Of The Mud Monsters
My weekend wasn’t so bad. A bit boring at times, a bit relaxing at times, a bit of wonder and a bit more entertaining? than I would have preferred…

There was a Pirate Festival in Ojai that I just couldn’t resist going to. All that leather, long hair and big swords and those were just the women! The men were a site to see as well.
I arrived pretty late so I was only able to stay that day for 2 hours. The costumes were colorful and the scene was a bit laid back.

The next morning
No snakes or coyotes this time (Note: That story is interesting too). I even kept an eye open to anything wild that this way may come. However it was the earth elements that go me this time.

I went back to the festival and wondered the vendor booths, had breakfast, watched a pretty funny juggling comedian, watch leather clad bois (one especially yummy) do some archery practice and than wandered to the lake. That’s where I was attached by the Mud Monsters!

As I was walking towards the dock about 100 yards from the festival, I suddenly felt my foot start to sink in to the soft ground of black mud. Thinking nothing more of it than possibly a little mud on my new boots, I continued on towards the docks when suddenly… my foot was grabbed from below by a hand that felt both solid and slimy. The very earth below me had formed into a hideous formation of a humanoid hand that would not let me move forward or backwards. Still in denial of what had me in it’s grips I tried to step forward towards the safety of the solid lake’s waters, but my other foot began to descend towards the abyss of the unholy creatures. Wrought with the determination that would not consume this spirit I fought not with my physical strength, for I knew that any physical struggles would only bury me deeper into their clutches. With my spirit of survival did I turn about to see what would aid my escape?

An old pirate who had seen many days before my own came to my call, but alas, for his mind was not as sharp with the drink from those many days behind him… another, a commoner tried with his wits to also aide me, but to no avail… I was firmly in the Mud Monster’s grasp. It was the quick thinking of a female commoner that saved my day… with her throw of a sturdy refuse cover of which I could brace myself so that I could lift my leg from the hellish grasps of doom to which I would have surely followed.

Bracing myself with my hands and my one leg that I managed to rip from their grasp, I put my Mud Monster blood covered leg on the solid material to which the mud monsters could not reach from beneath… I lifted myself from certain death and fled from their hellish depths of eternal Hell

The events of this story have not been exaggerated…they have only been rewritten to sound much more entertaining than the actual event of stepping into a sinkhole up to my knee & my thigh

(kiss our boo boos)

Friday, July 29th, 2005
8:04 pm - new member

see i am the obviouse kind of klutz, i am type of person that just stands still and i will lose my balance.........dont ask it is a long story....not much else to say...except that i am now a new member of this community ^_^. I decided to join cuz you all sound like my kind of people.... ok so ummmm ya going now blah blah blah.......

current mood: amused

(kiss our boo boos)

Friday, April 15th, 2005
11:14 am

hey people are posting so i guess i should too. *thinks*

2 nights ago:
friend sneaks me up the stairs at night while his parents are downstairs.
lights are off.
i know where im going.
oops, cant walk in a straight line in the dark.
*runs into the wall*
have to go potty. its still dark. bathroom is one door down the hall.
i turn to my left
*runs into the wall*
i probably would have run into the wall again when i came out but i was looking for the ring of light around his door coming from his room and just stood there trying to see the outline so i wouldnt run into a wall thinking "did he turn his light off? its totally black. i dont know wehre to go". then i realized i had walked out of the bathroom and turned to face the WALL. i have NO sense of direction. (which reminds me of a time we were in an area i wasnt familiar with and my friend was driving, and we had to leaev for like 10 minutes and come back and so we drive off and like a minute later im like "do you r4emember how to get back?, cuz im lost" and she said "yeah we just went around the block...")
in the morning...
im laying on his floor by the desk and he trips on a cord that was laying across the desk behind a glass of water, so of course the glass falls directly on my head giving me a nice round lump. i dunno if i make people clumsy or if i just attract the consequences of their clumsiness.

(kiss our boo boos)

Thursday, April 14th, 2005
8:50 pm - today, I fell off of my bike

This is the second time that I have fallen off of my bike.
Both times, I was not moving.
I skinned my knee this time and hurt my hand.  Seriously, next time, I would like to at least fall off for a reason. It's getting embarrasing.

(kiss our boo boos)

2:27 pm - ow.

I liked my burrito so much and was concentrating on peeling the foil off of it so hard, that I walked right into a tree branch and banged my forhead so hard and loud I thought it was a metal bar.

(4 kisses | kiss our boo boos)

Friday, November 19th, 2004
12:15 pm

i have now had several people (over the years but once again recently),
ask me if im klutzy on purpose
'come on, no one can be that clumsy'
one person also said that a lot of the times when i trip it actually looks fake
good thing i dont even bother getting out of bed too often
<3<3 onlineness <3<3

(kiss our boo boos)

Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
9:37 am - Walk much?!?


Trying to slice the tip of my finger off Friday night while slicing bread wasn't enough. Really. (Actually, it is an exxageration, but it took 24 h for the bleeding to stop and I still have no feeling in that part of my finger as the sucker is healing).

Noooo. That wasn't good enough.

There she is, just a wa-alking down the street.
Oooof. THUMP. Splat.

I was walking (at night) from the local concert band practice off to meet "someone new" at the coffee shop down the street. Darn sidewalk. It actually reached up, took hold of the toe of my sandal and refused to let go. Clarinet case went flying. prg went flying. This is where the Splat part comes in. Both hands and right knee are now the victim of road rash. Ouch. Now I can only wonder how impressed that "someone new" was with my newly bloodied appearance... at least it wasn't my face, eh?

(2 kisses | kiss our boo boos)

Thursday, July 22nd, 2004
3:34 pm - I was being a big baby...

And I was all upset because I had gotten a bad chocolate shake from the diner by my house. We took them to go...my boyfriend went in and purchased them. When I took a sip before we pulled out of the lot I was disgusted-the syrup was nasty. I thought he would go and return it, but he didn't offer and I was really not interested in going into the place and being a pain in the ass to the guy in the diner, so we left. I was secretly very bummed that my boyfriend didn't offer to go exchange it-I know very selfish and bratty...but I was hormonal and moody, too...not that that excuses my behavior. Anyway, we get home and I am all huffy and I very dramatically throw the shake in a trash can outside but not before I spill the whole thing down the back of my white t-shirt! I had gotten so huffy that I brought my hand over my head with the shake to throw it into the trash can so hard to get my anger out and I ended up spilling it all over myself! Duh! I was so embarrassed. I made an ass out of myself...but see only klutzy girls would spill their shakes all over themselves in the middle of a temper tantrum! Or was it instant karma? hmm...

current mood: embarrassed

(kiss our boo boos)

12:27 pm - Oops

So, I'm having some issues with my printer here at work. Not enough toner, and I've got to wait until tomorrow for a new cartridge.

So I do what your supposed to and take the thing out and give it a shake to redistribute the dregs of the toner powder.

I'm wearing a brand-spankin'-new white t-shirt.

And, now I'm also wearing many inartful splatters of black toner.

Guess I'm heading to H&M at lunch for a replacement shirt!

current mood: silly

(2 kisses | kiss our boo boos)

Monday, July 19th, 2004
3:54 pm - Good lord, do I need this community...

I am a kluzy chick.
And I'm not afraid to say it.
At least as long as saying it won't hurt me.

My most recent attack - there I was on the streets of Brooklyn. Looking all Saturday morning cool, jeans, t-shirt and bandana. Wheeling my cart full of clean laundry back home from the laundromat. Feeling virtuous at the thought of fresh sheets and towels. Oh yeah, I was rockin'.

So, the fates decide that I am all-together too confident, and I trip over a broken bit of sidewalk. The cart tips over and I end up sprawled, on my hands and knees on top of the cart somehow. (Still not sure how the laws of physics worked out in that case...) bags of laundry are rolling around. And then, literally to add insult to injury, a voice comes to me from on high. (I was in front of a stoop.) "Was it clean or dirty?"

Not, "Are you ok?"
Not, "Can I give you a hand?"
Not, even "Wow, that really sucks."

Sheesh. Some people

(kiss our boo boos)

Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
3:29 pm

as said by my old manager when i started working at petco about 6 months ago:
"lauren, how come everything you do involves loud crashing and banging?"

(kiss our boo boos)

Saturday, May 1st, 2004
6:19 am

If promos are not allowed, I apologize and will take it down if commented to do so, thanks =) and Join!

upcoming community, join my_perfection

banner courtesy of sex_and_drugs

feel free to promote with this code under cutCollapse )

(6 kisses | kiss our boo boos)

Thursday, April 29th, 2004
2:13 pm - How She Falls, How She Falls....

Am complete and utter SPACE CASE.

While walking quickly away from my last class of the day (world literature YAWN) I came upon one of those large heavy glass door things in Colgate Hall. I was, at the time, contemplating the ritualistic sacrifice of virgins in primative cultures. I absent mindedly put my two hands up against the glass and kept on walking, perhaps subconsciously thinking that I would push the door open with my superhuman strength.

No such luck-

Walked STRAIGHT into the glass. Smooshed my nose rather soundly. Left nose print. Complete and utter humiliation. The gods were laughing as I stumbled away from the door in manner of stunned bird... noticing just in time the trickle of blood slide between my lips. Gross. I gave myself a nosebleed. Righto.

Plus my nose, is like, TOTALLY throbbing. The gods were laughing as I stumbled towards my dorm, clutching a wadded up tissue to my face, I, their sacrificial virgin.

                          Only not.


(1 kiss | kiss our boo boos)

Sunday, April 18th, 2004
9:48 pm - "Guys? Guys, I Bit It Too!"

Hello. I am Aimee. I was referred here by </a></a>writehere , whom I am not aquainted with, but whom seems to think that I fall into the category of a "klutzygirl", evidenced by the recent events illustrated in my livejournal. I can't say that I disagree with him. Im 19, an english major in college, and am, what I like to refer to as a "cataclysmic person".

My most recent physical travesty goes as follows, but WARNING: it contains a fair amount of profanity, not to mention the physical manifestations of my physical travesty's, aka, THE BOO BOO PICTURES!

I skateboarded with the boys, on my trusty skateboard, Virgin. I wore my white tennis skirt because that seemed like a good idea at the time. I zoomed. Zach and I helped Craig learn. We helped Craig zoom. Craig bit it, going down the hill, the bad bad god-fucking hill. The pavement ate his knee. It looked like chicken fat. I played naughty nurse. Zach played the incompetent assistant. It was great fun for everyone except for Craig who was freaking out because he got blood on his favorite shoes. Do not blow on cuts. Because, ow, that freaking hurts.

Then. Zach and Craig went inside. I did not. I wanted to see if I could do the hill. I wanted to kill the bad bad god-fucking hill. I rode down the bad bad god-fucking hill faster and faster and faster and faster and then oh my dear sweet lord nestle, I bailed out! I jumped off of Virgin! I landed. I skidded down the hill. The bad bad god-fucking hill, it ate my hands. It ate me knees. Not one but TWO hands. Not one but TWO knees. The skirt went flying up in the air and the whole entire universe saw my underwear and I came this close: [-------------] from knocking my face into the asphault. Bad. Bad. God. Fucking. Hill.





I rode the board back to Zach and Craig's room. Half way there everything turned inexplicably yellow and I almost fainted dead away RIGHT in front of the delicious boys who were playing horseshoes. But I decided that would be too dramatic, it's just hamburger knees, that's all. Knocked on the door, "Guys?" I wimpered, "Guys, I bit it too," and oh, lord I had because my knees looked like hamburger. We went into the men's room, and it is so great when you get hurt because none of the rules apply, and suddenly I was half in and half out of the shower in my white mini skirt, with Craig and Zach cheering me on (though I'm fairly certain that they were cheering for the wet white mini-skirt than for my agony) as I did lamaze breathing to get through it.

What you should do if you hurt your goddamn knees, is you should go in the shower and yell and scream and breathe like this:

he he hooooooo. he he hooooooo. he he hoooooo. owwwwwwww SHIT! he he hoooo. he he hoooo.

The face you absolutely must make while doing your lamaze breathing:


And then you should go back to your room, and make sure everyone see's how brave you are in your white mini skirt with the hamburger knees. And then you should call Campus Safety and positively MOAN so they get there post haste, post haste. Then, bearing the most humungo orange first aid kit EVER, he comes, fixes everything. You have huge impressive looking bandages on your knees. Then he leaves. Then you tell positively EVERYONE. Like Zach and Natasha.

ReformedEstella: he said i was a "brave woman"
ReformedEstella: and i said "damn straight"
FundiforousRex: he was "looking up your skirt"
ReformedEstella: he was not
ReformedEstella: hmmm. he did happen to say "god i love my job" as he examined my legs at close proximity

But that hardly counts.

ReformedEstella: and plus while i was whimpering and he was applying pressure to my wounds, i wimpered something about how i got this totally bogus parking ticket and isn't that awful? and he voided it. YES.
ReformedEstella: yay for exploiting safety officers with my raw animal magnatism.
PuckerUp83: are you fucking kidding me?
ReformedEstella: saved myself 25 bucks!
ReformedEstella: plus he left me enough gauze and bandaids to catch the blood of 1000 menstruating camels.
PuckerUp83: sweet. good thing too-  I have about 500 menstruating camels in my room right now and they are prettttty wriled up

See? This is the best day EVER. Except for my hands hurt and I have bandaids all over them which are Veggie Tales. Worried Tomatoes and Worried Cucumbers.

The Carnage:

<---That is my hand which the asphalt gnawed on with vim and vigor, and the background is my lovely waffle-weave pajamas, they are so beautiful.

                      <--- close up.
                                     "Did You Notice My Clever Play-On-Words?"

                                          "Profile of the Right Kneeburger Carnage"

"Click here if you are TOTALLY not faint of heart, because guys, this is some SERIOUS carnage, I should SO charge for this...."

A stunning shot of the kneeburgers, as bandaged by the friendly campus safety officer:

                                                             THE END.

Feel better Aimee and Craig, (and not Zach, you total wimp, you did not even TRY to go down the bad bad god-fucking hill.)

Me looking sufficiently pitiful:

I have to go over to the other dorm to be pitufull with Craig now. Becuase my gosh, we are just so pitfull, we could out-pitiful eleven orphaned puppy dogs, the ones with the waggily tales.

Now. Where the heck did I put my skateboard?


(1 kiss | kiss our boo boos)

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